Pick Up Lines About Gambling
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- Poker and Gambling Pick Up Lines Funny poker and gambling pick up lines, use them to throw the players off their game or maybe a date. Top Gambling Pick Up Lines My favorite hand is when yours is holding mine.
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Following is our collection of smooth and dirty Casino pick up lines and openingszinnen working better than reddit. Include killer Omegle conversation starters and useful chat up lines and comebacks for situations when you are burned, guaranteed to work best as Tinder openers.
Pick Up Lines About Gambling Sites
I only have one move in poker and in love - I go all in
How good are your lips at blowing on dice?
My favorite hand is when yours is holding mine
Can I spin your roulette wheel?
Can I splash my chips all over you?
Can I tap your stack for good luck?
Can you please stop staring at my chip stack
Did you hear that? The DJ is playing our future song!
Did you know this casino hotel has a movie theater? I just saw a preview of our life together. Looks pretty good!
Have you ever gone all in with a pair of ladies before?
Funny casino pickup lines
Hey babe, do you want me to show you the V.I.P.
You turn me on more than World Tavern Poker.
Hey baby, why don't you meet me at the Starbucks? No, the other one. No, not that one, the other one... no, the one on the second floor. No, not that one on the second floor the other one... never mind, I'm sorry I bothered you.
Hey baby! Want to see my bankroll?
I don't mind going in blind, as long as I'm comin' out happy
I had a flush until you stole my heart
I heard they just opened up a new Lego store. Let's see if we can't build something together!
I just tossed a penny into the fountain, want to make my wish come true?
I may not be good looking, but I'm ranked Top 20 in the country
I only have one move in poker and in love…and it’s all in
I wouldn't mind a bad beating from you
I'd like to hit the big one on your pay table.
I'm going to have to get a security guard, because you're trying to steal my heart.
I'm not in the blinds, but I want a piece of the/that action.
I’ll ante up if you’ll go down.
I’ve got a side game going on in my pants…wanna play?
If I bet, will you call me?
If lights would turn off everytime I would think of you, Las Vegas would soon be pretty dark.
If you give me your heart I’ll give you a diamond
If you look at the map of my heart, it says 'you are here.'
If you pull the slot machine lever, I have a feeling you'll get lucky! Because the lever is in my pants! Grab that Lucky 7, baby!
It's spin time, baby!
Just call me the guy working at one of those kiosks that sells phone cases, because I'm going to try and talk to you for a while whether you need a new phone case or not.
Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes. We are sure they will make you laugh. If you have any gambling jokes as good, upload them at the bottom of this page.
1) I just bet £100 at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at 1000-1 odds. That way, if they ever do find her, I’ll be able to afford a fucking good lawyer.
Check out Really Funny Lawyer Jokes
2) Chuck-E-Cheese, because it’s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling.
3) My wife has left me because I am a compulsive gambler. I’d do anything to win her back.
4) Poker is like sex – everyone thinks they’re the best, but most people don’t have a clue what they’re doing. Dutch Boyd
Check out Really Funny Sex Jokes
5) What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it.
6) A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, “What is going on? Why aren’t you playing?” The blond girl replied, “I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!”
Check out some of the funniest Dumb Blonde Jokes ever
7) Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs.
8) They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money’s on Dave.
Check out Really Funny Money Jokes
9) What did the giraffe say to the tiger at the poker table? I thought you were a cheetah.
10) What’s the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining.
Check out Really Funny Animal Jokes
11) Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.
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12) Sign you might have a poker addiction: your kids are named check and raise.
13) I put a thousand pounds on a horse. The fucking thing collapsed.
Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published
14) Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
15) “I am looking for the book named ‘How to win easily and fast with poker.'” “Please check at the fantastic literature counter.”
16. Husband Comes Home After Gambling
I came home from the pub four hours late last night.
“Where the fuck have you been?” screamed my wife.
I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.”
“Playing poker with some blokes?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”
“So can you,” I said. “This isn’t our house anymore.”
17. Professional Gambler Screws Everyone In The Bar
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, “Bartender, I’d like to buy the house a round of drinks.”
The bartender said, “That’s fine, but we’re in the middle of the Depression, so I’ll need to see some money first.”
The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. The bartender can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Where did you get all that money?” asked the bartender.
“I’m a professional gambler,” replied the man.
The bartender said, “There’s no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?”
“Well, I only bet on sure things,” said the guy.
“Like what?” asked the bartender.
“Well, for example, I’ll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye,” he said.
The bartender thought about it. “Okay,” he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. “Aw, you screwed me,” said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
“I’ll give you another chance. I’ll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye,” said the stranger.
Pick Up Lines About Gambling Winnings
The bartender thought again and said, “Well, I know you’re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I’ll take that bet.” So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.
“Aw, you screwed me again!” protested the bartender.
“That’s how I win so much money, bartender. I’ll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars,” said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, “Bartender, I’ll give you one last chance. I’ll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whisky bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop.”
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn’t even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. “Okay, you’re on,” he said.
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whisky bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, “Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!”
The guy climbed down off the bar and said, “That’s okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!”
Check out our awesome collection of Walks Into A Bar Jokes
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Pick Up Lines About Gambling Lines
Related Links: 1. Gambling Jokes from Sickipedia.org 2. Gambling Jokes from Jokes4us.com